CAPTION: Think very carefully...

CAPTION: Out of control...

Latest thoughts on the CB-3000...

I didn't try the CB-3000 last night, I went back to my Oxballs Cocksling instead. I think that until my balls are a little looser it's always going to be a struggle, so I think I'll concentrate on that for now. We could still use the CB3000 in our upcoming Femdom session if Mistress R wants to, but I don't see it being practical for everyday use anytime soon. Still massively impressed with the cocksling, it's the most comfortable, most practical and easiest to fit cockring I've ever tried, even when you're fully hard. It really is a brilliant bit of kit.
It's not cheap, but I'd rather pay good money for a good product than pennies for useless rubbish. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of a low price is forgotten."

Of towels, ratios and the SPD-3000...

I can't remember how many orgasms Mistress R has had since I had my sixth, but it feels like a lot (it's got to be five or six). She only needs one more to achieve a ratio of 4 to 1 for the first time since we started this, and I have a feeling it's not going to be too long before it's 5/1, then 6/1, then 7/1... I very much hope so!

Mistress R loves her new towel service, I wonder if that played some small part in her deciding to extend my chastity period? After all, Mistress R is obviously starting to see the benefits of having her husband under her control...

Just had my second thirty minutes in the CB-3000, or as I am starting to think of it, the Skin Pinching Device! I put the spacer in this time, which I forgot before and really, what does it do, except exist to create another skin pinching area? For some reason I couldn't sit comfortably with it tonight, which was annoying. I tell you, if I didn't love the idea of Mistress R having my key and being able to take temptation completely out of my hands I would give up. Maybe it will be better when I've lost some weight?

Another new record...

Yesterday we had 2503 page views, which is a new record for the blog. This means that June is well on course to outstrip May and we'll probably be hitting 100,000 p/v's by the weekend. And still the blog is only ten weeks old. Unbelievable!
Last night I finally took advantage of my second 'chance'. So just after one in the morning I was allowed to stroke my cock for three minutes. Mistress R wasn't participating in any way other than to keep an eye on the clock and it felt kind of weird laying next to her doing that. But kinda nice at the same time...
Guess I'll be having another thirty minutes in the CB-3000 later. Got to get used to it sooner or later, after all.

30 mins in the CB-3000...

So I just had my first thirty minutes in the CB-3000 and... well, it's not too bad actually. Like the first time it seems to rub my nutsack up the wrong way and by the end it felt like my balls were getting a little crushed, so maybe I do need the longer pin after all. It's obviously not that noticeable under clothing as Mistress R didn't know I was wearing it until I told her. She then asked to see it and, well she didn't exactly look turned on...
I dunno. I really like the feeling of having my cock completely out of bounds, and the thought of experiencing that for some time before having Mistress R tease me is such a turn on because I can't imagine how amazing that would feel, but at the same time I completely fail to see how anyone could wear it all the time. I know you get used to it and all that but... at the moment I can't see it. But like most people I imagine, although my first instinct is to think, this is stupid even trying to wear this, I do want it to work because I really would love Mistress R to have total control of my cock and I don't see how else that is possible.

Hmm, so...

Mistress R has just read my earlier posts and the upshot is that she thinks I need to start wearing my CB-3000 and getting used to it so that when she does decide to make me wear it I will have got used to it. That's a turn up for the books!!!

CAPTION: Your birthday...

Something I've noticed...

Just lately I've noticed something quite amazing. Like I said yesterday Mistress R now seems quite confident in her new role and when she decides to stop teasing me, she no longer hesitates. But more than that, I don't think Mistress is finding it as hard to deny me as she perhaps was at the start. I hope this is true because one day I truly hope that she will lock me up properly and make me wait a very long time to cum, and she'll never do that if she feels uncomfortable about denying me. She also seems to be softening a bit to the idea of the CB-3000, so maybe my dream will come true sooner than I think...

Short but sweet...

Another Saturday afternoon, another orgasm for Mistress R... and of course my long overdue confession and punishment! Sadly we did not have as much time available to us this afternoon as we would have liked as we are doing something later, so it was all a bit rushed. Naturally the important bit came first and I spent a lovely twenty minutes or so coaxing Mistress R to a nice satisfying orgasm with my fingers and tongue. After that I was straight up on my knees and Mistress R was wasting no time, demanding I tell her 'what she needed to know'. Me being a bit slow got a couple of swats from the paddle before I'd even confessed anything, and once I'd confessed to touching my cock six times over the last twelve days I received a further twenty two (I think) paddle swats and lashes of the whip.
As usual it hurt quite a lot at the time but half an hour later I can't feel a thing, which doesn't make it much of a deterrent really. Similarly Mistress R's assertion that if I can't keep my hands off my cock then she might have to instigate the use of the CB-3000 is unlikely to say the least (even if it was hot to hear her say it). I don't know if it was due to time constraints but there was no mention of having me wear the CB-3000 other than that, and I wasn't about to put it on without permission. Oh well, we've got a whole week off now and our Femdom session on Friday, so we'll see.
Mistress R did give me a brief tease and warned me that if I can't keep my hands of my cock then she might have to consider less teasing in the future, which is much more of a deterrent than the paddle to be honest...
Mistress didn't press me for details of my infractions, other than to check that I didn't cum, which is perhaps as well seeing how many 'edges' I've given myself recently

Mmm, lovely...

Just had the exquisite pleasure of making Mistress R cum once again, God I love the taste of her. Is there any greater feeling in the world than the woman you adore bucking hard against your tongue... Some nice gentle stroking for me, and a warning that she will be taking confession on Saturday (with the added warning, 'whatever you've done, don't do any more!'), but still no orgasm. Perhaps it's gonna go all the way to the next Femdom session on the 17th! That'll be 20 days, not a record, but still a while, that's assuming I get to cum then, maybe not!
I'm quite excited at the prospect of being 'made' to lose weight. I've been over seventeen stone for years now and it is miserable really, I know I only have myself to blame... but this is just what I need and who knows what positive benefits this could lead to. Mistress R is obviously very happy with my positive reaction and just now after I made her cum she said something about 'seeing me in my chastity device this weekend', err, what? This could be VERY interesting!!!

On being an opinionated little twerp...

Sometimes it’s not so easy writing a blog, it’s so easy to say the wrong thing, or tread on someone’s toes without meaning to, and of course I have to consider Mistress R’s feelings too (which is of course very, very important!). So one has to learn to phrase one’s posts in a diplomatic manner at times, even though I might be feeling a lot stronger about something than I let on (no more was this brought home to me than in my recent cuckolding discussions, which fortunately ended up with everybody being very cool, despite my sometimes slightly forthright opinions).
But this is not necessarily a bad thing. I’m sure there’s many of you out there who are a bit… impulsive, from time to time. And given the nature of the blog you are reading I’m sure there’s more than one or two of you out there who are more than a little impatient to be locked into chastity for weeks at a time. Am I right or am I right? Well, obviously I am…
But like me, I’m sure that you know only too well that sometimes it’s not always the best move to rush into things that you think you want. Some of the best decisions are made after careful consideration, experimentation and some good old fashioned ’thought’. It may also be that it simply isn’t time for that thing you want to happen yet, it might be that your significant other isn’t ready to take that step that you so desperately think you want, they may have reservations or worries that need time and care to resolve.
And sometimes it may be that once you start down the road you think you want, it might be you who wants to take it steady, while your partner might be the one who suddenly wants to run full speed ahead. I wonder how many men end up hoist by their own petard, their petard of course being that chastity belt they were so desperate to get locked into?
(It’s funny how when you start writing a post you sometimes end up writing about something completely different than when you started, this is one of those times…)
I realise of course that some of you might be thinking that I’m feeling a bit aggrieved or disappointed about the fact that Mistress R has some very strong reservations about locking my cock up, but, well, the truth is I’m not. Not really. Oh yes, the thought of being locked appeals to me, without a doubt. After all, don’t forget, I sleep beneath a canvas of Mistress R with a key around her neck! And yes I would like to experience that at some point, but as I’ve said all along, Mistress R’s happiness is more important to me than anything, and I wouldn’t want her to go along with something if it was going to make her unhappy, because that would ruin it for me anyway.
And lets not forget that we are still very new to this, and that I’ve barely managed to keep my hands off my cock for more than 48hrs at a time, even though I know I’m going to get paddled for it! So how am I going to cope with being physically unable to touch it? The truth is I don’t really know, but I think it would be fun to find out… one day, when the time is right.
I mean, let's think about this for a second. If I was going to run a marathon (not terribly likely I can assure you), would I train for nine weeks and then book myself in for the London one? Of course not, I’d do some short races and build up to it over time. Oh sure, no doubt some people would just blunder ahead, and some of them might be okay, but some of them would be the ones collapsed by the side of the road wrapped in a Bacofoil cloak (that would probably be me, by the way).
So, radical as it may be for a pro-chastity website to be espousing what might be seen as anti-chastity device propaganda, I’m sticking to my guns. I know it sometimes feels like the most important thing in the world for you (and me) to have someone else holding your key, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it a hell of a lot more if you allow your partner to get used to the idea over time and to willingly participate in your chastity, rather than feeling like she has been bullied or steamrollered into it because you won’t shut up about how much you want it RIGHT NOW!
When I read Sarah Jameson’s blog, it always surprises me when she talks about the number of emails she gets from men asking how they can get their wives to ‘lock them up’. Not asking how they can get their wives to control their orgasms or to be more dominant, but literally to ‘lock them up’. I can understand the thought process because I’ve been there myself, but surely many of them would be more successful if they started out being a little less ambitious.
I mean it’s one thing for a woman to be sat down and asked to limit the number of orgasms her partner has, that’s probably quite a shock to most women. But how much more of a shock is it going to be if you casually drop into the conversation that you want to be locked into a chastity belt that you will wear 24/7 and that she will have the only key for? Surely that’s not really the best way to do it, is it?
Besides I think that some men are seeing the device as the be-all and end-all of chastity. But it isn’t, is it? Surely the most important thing is the bond that forms between the two of you, the extra closeness that sharing in the process of male chastity generates and the powerful feelings of devotion that being kept chaste generates in the male. The device is merely a facilitator. I’m not saying it’s easy without a device, because it isn’t, but if you want something that much, shouldn’t you be prepared to work for it? Several people have said to me that having a chastity device is in some ways the easy option because you are removing the temptation. On the other hand I’m sure many would say that I’m an idiot and perhaps I should come back to them when I have worn one for a while and see how easy I think it is.
Fair enough, like I said the other day, just being in the thing for a few minutes gave me a stark insight into the difference between not be allowed to touch and not being able to touch. And believe me I can understand why people crave that feeling of utter powerlessness, because it’s a very strong emotion.
I’m not going to pretend that I don’t fantasize about being 100% under Mistress R’s control, because I obviously do, and the fact that I’ve bought another CB-3000 shows that I‘m prepared to try it (even though half my brain thinks the other half is completely crazy for wanting it!), but that is entirely dependant on Mistress R becoming comfortable with the idea.
If not then I am quite happy for her to continue to entrust me with the responsibility of ensuring that I don’t cum, because it’s more important to me that she is happy with what we are doing and that she is comfortable with the way it’s being done.
Besides I still have my own reservations about the idea, and it’s the practicalities of the thing that bother me the most. The majority of which I’m sure could be overcome with time and patience, and I’m certain there’s plenty of advice out there in the blogosphere when and if the time comes.
Funnily enough these very problems are at the forefront of my mind at present for quite different reasons. As some of you will know, I’m writing my first e-book/novel whatever you want to call it at the moment, and I’ve arrived at the point where the villain of the piece is soon to be locked into chastity. The problem is that I like my writing to be as realistic as possible, but unfortunately realism and fiction do not always happy bedfellows make. So knowing what I do about chastity devices and being pretty well read on the practicalities of starting to wear one, my problem is balancing that against a plot which pretty much demands the instant implementation of instant lock-down. It’s a tough one, but I’m sure I’ll find a solution (but in the meantime if anyone has any particularly splendid ideas, please email me at pe.rob.666@gmail.com). Thanks.

Some observations after the first nine weeks...

Well, it's been just over two months since Mistress R took full time control of my cock and orgasms, and what a wonderful two months it's been! Mistress R has enjoyed a total of  20 orgasms during that time (that's 2.3 per week, or one every three days), whereas I have had just 6 (that’s 0.67 per week, or about one every 10 days). Which in Mistress R’s case is probably more than expected and less than I’d hoped, and in my case less than expected but more than I’d hoped… so all in all we’re doing pretty well so far!
Besides, I can’t help thinking that my average over those two months might be higher than it will prove to be over the coming months. Because four of my six came in April, and I’d wager that since Mistress R has got used to the idea of limiting my releases, May’s total might be more representative of my future quota. Who knows, maybe one day soon I’ll have a month completely devoid of any release… or she might just decide to give me more orgasms in one night than I’ve had in the last month! I just don’t know, and as ever it’s all up to my beautiful Mistress R (just as it should be).
Of course, the orgasm stats are only half the story and the idea of me not being allowed to touch my cock has been rather less successful. I would say on average I’ve failed two or three times a week (at least) in this regard (though again I stress I haven’t cum by my own hand since April 1st), sometimes this means just giving it a squeeze to assuage an early morning ache, sometimes it means several edges in a row… I’d love this not to be the case, but whereas I’ve found getting used to not coming relatively easy, the exact opposite is true when it comes to keeping my hands off my cock. Of course the fact that I’m not coming as often is making it harder, or so you would think, but even on the days directly after a permitted orgasm I’m still finding it almost impossible to resist…
So what’s the answer? Well, as Mistress R is not overly keen on the idea of the CB-3000, I can only hope she finds a suitable deterrent or makes my current punishment a bit harder to take. Of course the ultimate punishment would be to deny my tongue access to her beautiful pussy, but that would rather be cutting off her nose to spite her face wouldn’t it? The annoying thing is that I would dearly love to be able to abide by Mistress R’s rules, as I know that when I do manage to keep my hands off the eventual teasing by Mistress R’s is even more intense and gloriously (un)satisfying. And therein lies the reasoning behind my own desire to be ‘locked’. Ten minutes in that thing was enough to make me realise why so many men are willing to put up with the hassle and inconvenience of a chastity belt, as you cannot compare the feeling of loss of control with simply being instructed to keep your hands off. That said, I’m still scared shitless of the thing, in the same way that someone might be scared of a roller coaster (not a very good example as I hate roller coasters, but you know what I mean!)… but it’s a moot point as Mistress R isn’t keen and anyway I’m still not convinced I would actually enjoy wearing it for more than short periods…
Leaving that aside, this past two months has been something of a revelation, as I think we have felt closer than we have for a long time (and we have always been a very close couple anyway), we kiss and touch constantly, we both seem more at ease sexually and Mistress R is gradually coming to terms with the idea that she should take all the pleasure she wants from me whenever she wants it.
For my part I certainly have no regrets whatsoever, I’m sure I’ve spent more time this past two months pleasuring Mistress R than I have for any similar period in the last decade, and from what I’ve seen of late her orgasms have become stronger and more satisfying than ever before (only my impression, she may disagree). I adore being teased by her, having her stroking my cock however she likes until she leaves me rock hard and throbbing, and being inside her but knowing I’m not allowed to cum is a feeling I can’t even begin to describe… it makes me feel a little dizzy just thinking about it.
Although I was a little surprised when Mistress R decided that not only would I not be allowed to beg to be allowed to cum, but that I also wouldn’t be allowed to ask to be allowed inside her, I think it has worked out really well. Because now when she decides it is time I know she really wants me inside her and that makes it so much more enjoyable for me and special for the pair of us. I also love that Mistress R has overcome her reservations about making me lick her clean when she does permit me to cum inside her, because that is a wonderful experience and something I am always waiting for…
It will certainly be interesting to see what transpires in the coming months as Mistress R becomes more and more comfortable in her new role. Maybe she will decide to go all out and push for the fifty days of chastity she threatened me with before, or perhaps she might announce that in future I will have to eat my cum every time I am allowed to orgasm and then make me cum seven days in a row? Oh such sweet cruelty, I can’t help but look forward to whatever Mistress R plans for me. She truly is a Goddess in my eyes.

Mistress R has read last night's post...

And, pretty much as expected, she's not crazy on the idea of the CB-3000. But neither is she upset about it. She has agreed that we could possibly use it in the Femdom sessions, which is what I expected really and to be honest I'm happy with that. At the end of the day I am happy to do whatever Mistress R wants me to do, and who knows maybe once she's seen it on she might decide she likes it more than she thought. At least I have a usable one now and occasional use is a possibility.

Just had Mistress R read through the 3,500 words I've added to my book in the last few days and she's still impressed! I'm pleased because I'm currently writing a tricky, pivotal scene, so it's good to know that I'm still pointing in the right direction.

Mmm, Mistress R just allowed me to worship her feet for about ten minutes. It was so lovely!

Another O for Mistress R...

What a lovely way to spend Saturday morning, between Mistress R's gorgeous, smooth, sexy thighs, bringing her to a lovely hard orgasm. And a nice mixture of soft and firm strokes for me too... but no orgasm, of course. Unfortunately, due to our busy morning I haven't had time to show her my post from last night / this morning yet...and now she's gone off to have her hair done for a couple of hours.
Of course posting my thoughts to the blog last night probably wasn't the best way to do things, but I really wanted to get my thoughts down so that Mistress R could read them, as I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to verbalize them as well. It was unfortunate that by the time I had finished writing them it was past one in the morning and Mistress R was fast asleep, and because of our busy morning today she still hasn't yet read them...
I had already spent 24 hours trying to decide what the best way to tell Mistress R about the new CB-3000 was, without any clear decision being obvious. I wondered whether to put it on just before going to bed and letting her 'find' it, but decided against this in the end.
I would have loved to have told her when she came home on Thursday, but she had been drinking and it just didn't feel right, and of course the longer you wait the more difficult it is. I am also concerned that Mistress R might feel 'pressured', that she might think I want to wear it all the time, etc etc. That really isn't the case, especially now I've tried it on again. I'm not saying that I wouldn't wear it if she wanted me too, because I would, but it wouldn't be as simple as her locking it on and letting me get on with it.
So once again I feel like I am taking a big risk, by bringing this up again, but the last six months have been so incredible that I feel like sometimes you have to take big risks to get big rewards.

The CB-3000, a second chance...

Those of you who have read a lot of this blog will have noticed that from time to time I have made various disparaging remarks about the CB-3000. I bought my first one (a clear one) about six months ago now, and right from the moment I got it I thought, this is never going to work. The tube was too small for my cock, the rings were too tight, and when I did manage to get it on it stuck out a mile, there was no way it was ever going to be worn under clothes. Rather disappointed, and it must be said, annoyed, I sold it on within a few weeks (and actually made a profit on it!).
Naturally, chastity being a big interest of mine, I visit a number of sites where people talk about their chastity devices, and sure enough this always makes me gnash my teeth as I remember the frustration of trying to get that stupid thing on. See, although I know selling it was the best thing to do, not least because it was a bit of a cheap crappy one, I can't help but still want one. I want to know what it feels like to be physically unable to touch your cock and to be totally at your Mistress's mercy, I really do.
And so it was with crushing inevitability that a few weeks ago, late one night I purchased another one, still a CB-3000 but a black one this time. It was a different design to the first one, with a pivoted rather than solid ring and the seam running round the edge of the tube rather than top and bottom. I didn't tell Mistress R at the time because she knew why I had sold the other one and so she was bound to say 'what's the point' you've already tried it.
But I just had a feeling that it had to be me, because I've never seen anyone else complain about the rings or the tube being too small, and it's not like I'm hung like a donkey or anything (well, maybe a small donkey... no, not really). Sure they complain about them breaking (especially the top and bottom seam ones) and chafing and other things, but not about them being too small. So I was determined to try again. Also since I had sold mine I had read that you need to use lube to get the tube on, which I had never tried, so I thought, fuck it, I've got to try this again and if it still doesn't work then I'll give up.
So a few days later it arrived and what do you know, I couldn't get it on. Right, I thought, perhaps it's because of my weight, I'll keep this one and try it again when I've lost some weight. This was a couple of weeks ago...
So last night Mistress R went to visit her friend and I was left alone for the evening, ostensibly to write my book (which I did manage to do - 2,300 words in fact), but as I had this free time to myself I thought, why not have a proper go and see if you can get it on or not. So I dug it out and after a while I managed to get the largest ring to close and quickly secured it with the pin. So far so good. Then I squirted some lube on my cock and after a bit of wincing and manipulation, I managed to get the tube on and quickly locked the padlock to hold it on.
Of course I then realised that I'd used the longest pin and it was too long, so I took it off again, swapped it for the shortest pin and put it all back again. Of course I forgot the spacers and now it was a little too close (should have used the medium pin), but it was on and I thought, okay let's try this for a few minutes.
It certainly fits much better than the first one, and once it's on it's not uncomfortable, in fact I can quite understand a comment I read the other day (can't remember where, sorry) about feeling safe in it and missing it when it's not there. It sits better and definitely hangs closer to the body than the other one did, and when I've lost some weight I could maybe picture it fitting under clothes.
My next thought of course was, I wonder what it feels like when you try to get hard? So I looked at some porn on the internet and my cock started to harden a bit (trying to get hard without being able to touch your cock, not as easy as you might think...) and basically what happens is that rather than swelling inside the tube (which is how they break) it pushed the tube forward, which in turn pulled the base ring forward and started to cause some discomfort to my balls. This was not entirely unexpected as I've heard other people say that this is what happens to them.
After this I decided to take it off and put it away, but not before I noted just how much different it is being actually physically unable to touch your cock, rather than it just not being allowed. Suddenly my appreciation for the experience of chastity belt wearers has just gone off the chart. I only had it on for maybe ten minutes, and my mind was totally overwhelmed by the thought of not being able to touch my cock at all for days or weeks, the sense of frustration must be so many times more intense, and it is at once terrifying and enormously appealing. I can't imagine how grateful I would be to be released and stroked after wearing this for a while, I think I would quickly submit to just about anything, which again is terrifying and enormously appealing all at once.
And of course I haven't actually tried it with what I think is the correct pin in yet, or the Kali's teeth which came with it, and as it stands I know my balls are probably too tight to wear it for any length of time (hence why I have just spent the last 20 minutes in the Oxballs Cocksling and am now just putting it back on again for another 20 minutes) but, there is hope, because now I know I can get it on and that it is quite comfortable.
But still I'm not entirely convinced, I don't quite see how hygiene is going to be maintained, unless the thing is taken off for showering every day and I'm not at all sure about peeing with this thing on, though other people must manage.. and yet the psychological pull of being completely at Mistress R's mercy is so strong and persuasive.
What would perhaps be realistic in the short term would perhaps be for Mistress R to have me wear it at the start of our Femdom sessions, so that she gets to 'unlock' me, even if it's only actually been on for a few minutes (it could be a bit longer I suppose, depending on how long she makes me wait during the session). At least it would be a symbolic act if nothing else. Or maybe she might have me wear it while I'm going down on her sometimes, never sure whether she will release me for teasing or not... (I like that idea a lot!).
And of course, maybe Mistress might want to lock me up on certain occasions, like perhaps when she goes to see her friend and leaves me alone for the evening... because once I'd taken it off I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Oh yes, and rest assured I'm going to be punished for those edges soon enough...

CAPTION: She still does it anyway...

CAPTION: If you deserve it...